The Clubdate singer speaks. Pt 3:

 

"The Platter"

November 2001, the Vanderbilt Hotel.

There was a couple at the function. Your average Woody Allen looking rich guy, mid 50's I would guess, and his 30-something girlfriend. 

She was wearing an extremely tight and ugly dress. They stood out for a couple of reasons:

1) The dress was a silver and black striped monstrosity, clearly not for an elegant affair. Kind of trashy, actually(and as it turned out, this was appropriate )

2) Their behavior was wantonly sexual on the dance floor. They took 'Dry humping' to a new level. At one point coming dangerously close to knocking over the wedding cake with their arrhythmic gyrations. It got progressively worse as the night wore on, and by our 3rd set:

Summer turned her back to the dance floor when they came out.

Finally,the inevitable. The Music, the Liquor, the lust proved too much for our couple, and the woman began to pull her dress up as she danced, lower and lower she crouched, higher and higher rose the "too tight, too ugly" dress until.....

There, in all its glory, was the platter, fully uncovered, not even a thong.... (At least she was a natural blond) This proved too much for 'Woody' (Who I'm sure had a Woody) and they hurriedly left the dance floor, and the ballroom, only to return later with cigars (both of them) and mischievous grins. 

Summer was mortified, I laughed the rest of the night....

  

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