The Clubdate Singer Speaks, Chapter 15:

Performance anxiety: Chapter 15

Sept 2005, Philadelphia,  Pa

 

Lenny (not his real name) and I prepared for the event in similar ways that day.

I am sure of it. I know because of how he said the Word “Oh”.

 

The band was doing a wedding in Philadelphia at a very expensive, gaudy, and dimly lit room. I was leading that night, and Lenny was the Maitre’D.

 

We were both subbing; me for Johnson (because the band was split in 2, that day.

Johnson had Rev. & the Queen, and I had Summer and another brotha with me)

Lenny for the house’s main guy, who’s Mom had died that morning.

 

Invariably, black people prepare longer for their interactions with white people than vice versa. ( I bet right now, that if you’re black, you’re nodding your head in assent, and if you’re white the thought never crossed your mind.)  And today’s preparation was two-fold. Blacks in positions of leadership have to call on (and balance) the oft-opposing mindsets of :

  ‘Accessibility Training’ and ‘Black Power’. 

 You have to be firm enough to be clearly in charge, but unassuming enough so as not to offend, appear ‘uppity’ (Yes that term is still in use) or ‘frighten’ white people. 

 (The Queen is dealing with just this type of situation on her day job because she spoke up for herself to handle a situation, in a polite way, but because her white colleagues had never heard her be firm before, they complained to her supervisor that they were ‘frightened’ by her. If you were to ever meet her you would quickly see how utterly preposterous this is, in that the woman is barely a size 6, and is one of the sweetest gentlest people that I know.) 

 Anyway, back to Lenny…

Lenny in this regard has it a little easier than I do, in that he can “pass the comb test”, is light skinned and has green eyes. It’s still easy to see the African in his American, but he is more readily accessible . This is human nature. It is always easier to accept something that is similar to you…

When we were just about set up, Lenny walked up to the bandstand and asked me:  ‘Who’s the band leader?’

With a smile I said, ‘I am’.

I had watched Lenny walk over, and saw the adjustments he was making as he approached. He looked at the band members, and chose me to ask, probably because of the whole ‘comfort with what’s similar ‘thing…

            When I answered him, he was taken aback momentarily, as he was clearly surprised, but pleasantly so.

I was a bit frazzled because:

a)      The traffic had been a little bad,

b)       I couldn’t get into the venue because the security guard didn’t feel like walking over to the loading dock to open it.

c)      As a result, I was a little late, and had to contend with :

·         an anxious bride,

·         snooty wedding planner

·         a new singer  who was subbing for Rev, and auditioning for my spot in the band, (more about that in a later episode)

·         Increasing tension with Johnson because I had resigned from the band a couple of weeks earlier, and Johnson was/is  still in shock. (More about that in yet another later episode)

 

But Lenny's response definitely picked me up, and we had a good rapport, and a nearly seamless party that night.

I am sure that we both stood a bit taller by the end of the evening.

Thank You, Lenny.