Random thoughts on a warm Summer night:

 

I know. It has been a while.

In Sept of 2018, as my Dad was in his dying process, I listened to one CD pretty much on repeat on the trips back and forth to the hospital, then the hospice. Believe it or not, it was John Mayer's

'The Search for Everything'

Cut #3 Helpless was kind of an anthem.

'If I'm helpless tell me now, Tell me now, And I'll stop trying to figure it out.'

We were in fact helpless in the process, it felt at times almost voyeuristic watching him journey ever so slowly but inexorably towards his eternity. A journey that he had to take alone, albeit with spectators.

 

Cut #1 'Still feel like your man' is my favorite song on the album, because I identify with the idea of the static nature of loss, as it applies to grief and change.

But the one that I played repeatedly after his death was cut #8,
 'Moving On and Getting Over'

'Moving on and getting over, Are not the same, it seems to me

'Cause you've been gone, I'm growing older

But I still can't seem to get you off my mind, And I do believe I feel you all the time.'

 

It was as much the lyrics as it was that the chord changes in the verses are the same as Sly & The Family Stone's 'Family Affair' which was a VERY important song for me growing up, as I navigated the complexities of the relationship that my Dad and I had... 

 

Thankfully, the longer that he has been gone, and the older that I get, the more that I appreciate him. I am grateful for the way that God allows time and reflection to soften rough edges and give perspective that is easier to grasp once disassociated from the pain...