The Clubdate Singer Speaks 19! The Cast A-Sideman

Disclaimer: The following story is an actual event, as all of the vignettes in the 'Clubdate Singer Speaks' series are. For 8+  years, I was a member of one of the top Orchestras in the nation. Though it was an enjoyable time, it was also at times, quite painful. I took to writing initially to assuage my distress, and this is one of those times when the pen (or keyboard) proved to be a healing tool. I have considered publishing this series, and would appreciate your thoughts... 

 

"The Cast A-Sideman" -   Late Fall 2017

An observation more than a complaint... 

As some of you know, I went back to playing in a wedding band (doing clubdates) in 2017after taking 10 years off...

Why? Because I have college tuition to pay, my ministry closed, I was depressed with a lot of extra time on my hands 

It's been fun, but it's also an adjustment.

I went back to the band that I helped found, and was the main singer in, 'The Manhattan Rhythm Machine'. 

From 1998 to 2007 I was 'That Dude'.

When people book a band for their wedding, they usually come in to the company’s office and watch video of the company's different bands, (more recently, they get directed to a website or Youtube video) and they usually book based on the singers.

The other musicians are basically 'side men' who are interchangeable. Very rarely do they get noticed because people are looking at and listening to the singers. So sometimes they appear in several different videos of several different bands. Rarely in my experience do people notice...

Back then, People would come up to me excitedly telling me that they'd been listening to the band's CD for months and they were so excited to get to hear me sing live. It was great for my ego. 

But that was then...

Today, the other singers in the band are in their 20's and 30's. They are Young, attractive, vibrant and exciting. Me, I’m in my 50’s with some grey in the beard…

I've been noticing for a while that, while I'm still the best male singer in the band, and I use the gigs to tutor the other singers, technique tips, song styling, phrasing and such, so much so that in the other male singer's latest music video, (He's an aspiring R&B artist) I can clearly hear my influence and he doesn't deny it. He always tells me how much he learns from watching and listening to me sing.

But I have realized that ... 

I am not the center of attention any more. I'm a 'side man'...

Especially last Saturday night it was clear that this is my role. 

The bride's father literally came up to the 4 of us singers standing together on the bandstand after our first set He spoke excitedly to the other 3 singers about how he's been looking forward to them being there, and shook their hands... and ignored me.

(Yes I'm in the band's video) and just to make sure that I was not mistaken about the intentional nature of the snub, 

He did it again later after a dance set where I had just finished killing an old Wilson Pickett song that he had requested. He came over, and high fived the other three and walked by me like I wasn't there...

He literally did not see me. He heard me, I watched him dance happily as I sang, but I wasn't the reason that he hired the band, the others were. 

It's Ok, though. I understand my new role, but it was a blow to your boy's ego for sure...